I’ve never in my life seen a man comment on the intelligence of another man, based on the pictures he posts or the clothes he chooses to wear. But women? Oh, god what an idiot I must be. That’s what I hear every time I post pictures of myself. Not even from guys, because guess what? Women are the worst when it comes to this.
It’s as if I, who I’ve been told have a “sensual” appearance and form of expression, can’t like sex and be open about it, because then I’m suddenly a whore. Yes, I have a sexuality and I sometimes blog about that kind of stuff. That doesn’t mean I sleep around or that I sleep with anybody. because I don’t. But even if I did – so what? If my pictures play on sex, who cares? Without wanting to sound arrogant, I’m a fairly intelligent person. I speak five languages, I read 15-25 books every year, I graduated high school at the top of my class, I got into the best Norwegian university, I’m writing a book, I’m well-articulated, I’m kind AND I appreciate sexuality. One doesn’t cancel the other. It doesn’t make me stupid, worth less, an idiot, a whore or anything like that. There’s no wonder girls go through life never experiencing orgasms, faking it and having uncomfortable, silent sex in the dark if you’re not allowed to talk about your own body or sex without instantly being branded a whore. At least I can’t, because I’m instantly branded as a breadhead, and apparently according to media, comments and personal messages I’ve recieved, I degrade my entire gender by being so open about sex.
Have you ever heard that Lilly Allen song, “Hard Out Here”? It’s supposed to be empowering, but then she sings: “Don’t need to shake my ass for you, cause I got a brain”. What? I’m the first one to shake my ass at the club, not because I need to, but because I want to. Does that make me an idiot? Does that make me brainless? Does sexuality really cancel intelligence?
I know guys speak degradingly about women too, because I see that everywhere online, and I experience it first-hand daily. But I’ve never experienced in real life that a group of guys have been talking about a girl behind her back and having an extensive conversation about how slutty she is, and I have a lot of male friends. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but growing up you so often heard from other girls that if you sleep with different guys, if you get too much attention, if you appear to0 sexually, if you dress too lightly, if you’re too outspoken etc etc, then you’re a whore. There was a big difference between the genders there. Luckily today I’m in a group of friends where we high five each other for doing what we want, no matter what we like, what pictures we choose to post, do or don’t do, say or don’t say or what clothes we choose to wear or take off.
I suppose the point of this post is this: If we want men to speak to us or about us in a different manner, then maybe it would be a good start if we started being nicer towards each other as well, no matter what you look like or choose to do. Empowerment shouldn’t exclude anyone.